we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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