I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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