capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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