On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
