sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
