I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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