we made out on top of his cat.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
