I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
