super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
