Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
