so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
