Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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