They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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