Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
