I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
