you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
