it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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