How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
