You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
