he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
