Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
