I wanna bring you to show and tell
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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