erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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