You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
