If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
