I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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