I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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