Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
