oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm passing your future prison.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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