just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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