Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
