i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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