is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
