I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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