i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
