I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
