just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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