So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
