You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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