So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
