It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
