How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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