I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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