Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
