You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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