let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
