I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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