She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
