So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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