I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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