the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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